We have all felt the sting of betrayal.
We have all experienced the crushing disappointment of being stood up, down, left alone, and let down.
If you have not really felt it – you are either thick-skinned.
Or you are able to cope.
In that case, I envy you.
Also, you do not need to waste your time reading this post.
But, if you have been let down by someone or something, and cannot cope, then I hope this will help you in some way.
The Lesson
Now, I am no psychologist, but from my years of disappointment over my own failures and others’ failures, here are my two pennies.
Lean into the grieving process but don’t stay there for long.
The failure of others involving you does hurt.
You cannot block it out. You should not.
Allow yourself to feel the grief.
Accept that your deepest needs were not met.
But try not to stay in that place for too long.
Everything in life has a purpose.
Some strategies to help cope:
Time
Pick what you do with your time.
Do you really want to waste it wallowing in the feeling of betrayal and disappointment?
Or, do you want to capitalize on the moments you have?
We all know this pandemic has taught us about the shortness of time we have allotted to us.
So use your moments, minutes, and hours very wisely.
They say time and energy are two resources we need.
Brene Brown said, “Time is a non-renewable resource”.
So use that resource wisely.
Energy
Preserve your energy for the people you love.
Preserve your energy for the situations and things you care about.
Don’t waste your breath on people who have let you down.
Don’t waste your energy struggling to please that employer who will always find fault.
Don’t waste your energy in that job that simply does not give back to you what you put in.
Get a new boss. Or better still be your own boss.
Create safe space
Distance yourself from people and situations that have failed you.
They unfortunately act as triggers.
Create a space for yourself that is safe and free from triggers.
If and when it does go away and you are able to cope and manage the effects of the failure of others, you may shorten the distance.
Cut the cord
Learn to cut the cord to stuff that causes disappointment.
Grieve if you must – but just for a bit.
Cut that cord no matter how painful it is – and move on.
Seek new opportunities
As painful as it is, start seeking new opportunities immediately. Don’t waste time.
Apply for another job.
Get a new set of friends. Widen your circle.
Go after the other business opportunity.
Reap the Benefits
Moving on or up from the failure of others in your life brings in some amazing benefits.
You learn new skills.
Make new friends.
Move to a better area after a divorce.
Discover amazing freedom after broken relationships.
Get a job that is better suited to you.
Learn how adventurous and amazing life can be.
What are some of the ways you cope with the failure of others?
Comment below.
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