Every year at Christmas time, I suffer from major homesickness.
It will be almost 30 years since I moved to the United States, but there seems to be no cure for this malady.
What I miss the most is the excitement of preparing for the holiday with my family and close friends.
I live in a town that has no old friends.
My family and old friends live back home, in New Zealand, New York City, Canada, and Australia.
Unlike my fellow ex-pats who live in Canada and Australia, I know of no large groups of Bandraites celebrating this holiday here in America.
If I am wrong please point me to where they are!
Christmas Scenes
If you strolled down the streets of Bandra, my hometown, you would see paper star lanterns on the porches of the Portuguese-style bungalows.
Even the high rises would be lit up with string lights and star lanterns on balconies.
The sounds of Christmas carols dancing out through the windows – made me think of the warmth of the welcoming homes I passed.
Having grown up and gone to neighboring schools, there would hardly be streets where we did not know at least one family.
I remember the focus being on preparing the food, planning parties, and carol singing around different neighborhoods.
Here, it is all quiet, with some neighborhoods brightly lit with decorated homes.
There is one neighborhood where I pay my yearly visit with family.
It is filled with kitschy over-the-top Christmas decor and is named 34th Street, right here in Hampden, Baltimore.
Lately, my neighborhood has been hosting jeep parades, tree lighting ceremonies, and Christmassy pony and sleigh ride at local farms.
There is a lot to do here too! But, I still miss the local carol singing door-to-door around the streets of Bandra.
Christmas Wish Lists – what on earth?
The only shopping I did was for the fabric to make the mandatory bespoke Christmas and New Year outfit – that is until ready-made stuff hit the markets in India.
My parents would note what I wanted throughout the year and then buy it for me. I never was let in on the secret of when and where they shopped.
There was no frenzied gift buying for all and sundry.
There was no commercial bombardment to buy either.
And there were no Christmas wish lists.
This is the one thing that gets me every time.
Gifts are meant to be surprises.
The gift giver is supposed to take notes by observing their giftee. What does their giftee like or want.
Christmas wish lists are good for elementary school kids who write to Santa.
And speaking of gifts – why do we open the gifts in front of the Giver?
How tacky is that?!
Anyway, I digress.
Gathering around Food
I miss the typically Goan/Mangalorean/East Indian food that is prepared around that time.
Walk down the street in the villages near me, and the smell of food drifts out through open windows.
Pork Sorpotel, Vindaloo, Beef Olives, Pulao – standard staples at the Christmas dinner table.
Christmas to me is all about friends and food.
My parents always invited non-Christian friends to celebrate the holiday dinner.
Our guests remember it today. With a lot of love!
It is the gathering that is important. It is the chance to share the Reason for the Season with those who do not know.
It is not about shopping.
I guess this is why I struggle so much with this season here in America.
The culture of consumerism is magnified ten times and glaring at us from October onwards.
I know! I sound like the Grinch, right?
The food
Thoughts of Christmas sweet making – my nana would start on the 1st of December – methodically chugging through her recipe book. I do not have the said treasure, but I am sure someone in the family does.
However, I do recommend a couple of good ones here.
(By the way, check out my Book and Movie Recommendation page).
There are only two chefs in America that conquered Goan food in my opinion.
Floyd Cardoz and David Machado, who came a close second to conquering the Goan Vindaloo.
The legendary Chef Floyd Cardoz was a friend from my hometown. I visited his restaurant in New York City, with my daughter a few years ago, and was wowed with plate after plate of masterfully blended Goan American food!
I do believe he took the best of Goa and infused it into American food – a much-needed infusion.
Chef David Machado surprised me when I visited his restaurant in Portland, Oregon many years ago. I ordered the Goan Vindaloo expecting to be disappointed.
It came out on the plate looking like a chunk of pork steak. But after the first bite, I was sold! I immediately asked to see the chef.
He came out, and I was surprised to see an all-American man and not a Goan American.
We chatted and I learned that the secret to his recipe was a month-long apprenticeship in Goa with old traditional women who taught him the various spice blends.
So many books have been written about Indian food, but hardly any about Goan food, which I believe has got to have the best seafood recipes in the world.
And no, that Goan vindaloo you get at the Indian restaurant is not authentic.
We do not batter fry our seafood. But we use strong flavored, spicy usually, blends to marinate and grill these ocean delicacies.
Goa is a state consisting of a coastal group of islands. Seafood is a must if you visit.
A typical Bandra Christmas dinner table
So, last year I started the Kuswar tradition to alleviate the homesickness. It looks like it is working.
We make a variety of sweets for Kuswar: kulkuls, milk toffee, marzipan, jujups, dos, coconut sweet, and Christmas fruit cake.
I remember my mother sending my brother with a tray of these delicacies to each and every condo in our six story condo building back home, every Christmas day.
It did not matter if the neighbors were Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs, Parsis, Protestants or Catholics.
I have carried on this tradition here in my neighborhood, selecting a few neighbors I am familiar with in our court.
It is my hope that my kid carries it on too.
